Saying goodbye

Last Thursday was my final day of work at Kids Path and last time teaching at Revolution Hot Yoga as a Greensboro resident.  Even though I've been looking forward to moving to Raleigh for a while, it was so surreal thinking about leaving my jobs and co-workers.  One thing that kept running through my mind was/is how ironic it is to be a grief counselor (i.e. one who helps people figure out how to say goodbye) and say a cascade of goodbyes to the people, places, and meaning of my experiences in Greensboro.  Nothing like the ending of something to facilitate a wave of nostalgia.

Funny, too, how I keep relating these goodbyes to grief work and how similar the feelings and reactions of ending something like a job or leaving friends can be to grief over death.  In the counseling world, we call the ending of a client relationship or group, "termination," and some even use the term death.  There's a sense of permanence even if sometimes the goodbye is more like a see-ya-later.  So, it's not too much of a surprise to me that I've been feeling cranky this weekend (granted, it's a challenge knowing it's OK to feel cranky and actually letting myself feel that way).  My task is giving myself the permission to be brave enough to take the time I need to adjust and slow down.  Too often I want to rush ahead and figure out what's next, filling my plate back up before I've even digested what's happened. 

Well, here it is, the Monday after my last day of work, saying goodbye to all of my clients and co-workers and friends, and moving to Raleigh.  Yesterday, I felt less of the Sunday blues...though more of a sense of "What the hell just happened?!"  And today, it's a little weird not going to work at Kids Path.  So, I'm digesting.  I think in this case, saying goodbye to a part of my life and integrating it in a new way is going to take a while, which, admittedly, I wasn't totally prepared for.  The bright side of the goodbye, though, is that I get to feel/think/say it and understand how important and meaningful that is.  

Bye, Greensboro!  It's been real.