soul diving part deux

met with my newest favorite professor yesterday. she said i didn't know myself yet. she's right. i'm at the brink.

there is greatness waiting to be found within this old soul.
it sets my heart burning.

Soul Diving

Every day I read something new for my counseling classes, I feel ever more grateful for the privilege of being back in school and for what the content of these courses offers me personally. I have been enhanced by the knowledge gained by being in class with some extraordinary people, and am so transformed (already) from this process of having clients and, really, having them speak to my soul.

Yesterday, my professor used a new term: "soul diving." I feel like that's what I'm doing when I'm in class, when I'm talking to friends and connecting about certain things that just make us human: love, relationships, "why am I here," "where am I going," how we connect to life, what life is, what the universe is, God, and love again. The depths of my soul speak to the depths of this other person's soul, and we are connected in this place far from space and time in the darkness and lightness of savoring our spirits' journey as we meet on the same road. I am in love with this process.

With that illumination, comes an understanding that I know nothing. I know nothing and have so much more to learn. They always say, "The more you know, the more you know you don't know." It's true. After speaking with certain people about past relationships and my "stuff" and what happened and why...well, hindsight is 20/20...but the bottom line is I've been insensitive--to myself, to others and there is a certain level of compassion that I am striving for in this process of soul diving to, I guess, compensate for that insensitivity of my past. Oh how I wish I could share it with those people I've hurt (including myself)...but I don't know how when I'm trying to push them away in order to heal myself first.

I believe I'm on the road to living more compassionately, but the process is one step at a time. And I want and need to savor each step.